Vacant Sunderland post attracting interest
"Mr. Murray, there's a Mr. Souness on the line for you."
"Sir, a fax just arrived from Mr. Souness."
"A candy-gram. Signed, "Thinking of you. Won't you think of me. -GS"
"Mr. Souness here to see you sir. I tried, Sir, but he says he knows you are here. He says he'll wait in the lobby and you'll have to pass him on the way to the bathroom or the exit at some point. Yes, Sir, I've alerted security."
(Hat tip to Mike for the joke.)