Opinion, commentary and humour on fantasy English Premier League football, the English Premier League, Major League Soccer and international football. From people who should know... better.
Good news for Pompey fans as Davis and Mendes should solidfy the midfield, with Taylor and O'Neill on the wings you would presume. Bad news for Diao, Hughes, and Vignal as we may never hear from them again.
Seeking to further improve their squad during the January transfer window, Harry Redknap and Portsmouth has expressed interest in signing aging defender Jeremy Spitzberg. Long thought retired, Spitzberg is reportedly in extremely poor shape, but willing to strap on the boots for one more chance at the Premier League. "I've always dreamed of getting crushed by the likes of Sammi Hyypia and Rio Ferdinand, and this may be my last chance," said Spitzberg from his San Diego training center.
Complicating matters is the fact that Spitzberg remains under a life-long indentured servitude contract with Alotta Soccer FC. Alotta soccer owner and manager Jon Wolfsthal is reluctant to part with Spitzberg for obvious reasons. "He was one of our greatest signings, and the thought of him actually finding a winning team may be too much for us to take. I mean, it's not like Alotta ever won, and how would that make us look.?" Wolfsthal also questions Spitzberg's ability to motivate for the rigors of the EPL. "He only used to come out for the chicks, but now that he's married with a kid, I hear his winkie is kept in a jar. With no women in the EPL, I doubt he'd actually show up for games, free uniforms or not."
Alotta is reportedly requesting 20 pounds, two free Pompey kits and insider information for his fantasy team in return for the rights to Spitzberg. It is unclear if Portsmouth even know what he is talking about.
Former Pompey winger Laurent Robert thinks Spitzberg and Portsmouth might be a good fit. "I hate zee people at Portsmouth and eef thees Spitzberg eez as bad as they say, zen zey deserve each other, no?"
"Pompey Chase Spitzberg, Alotta FC Retain Rights"
ReplyDeleteSeeking to further improve their squad during the January transfer window, Harry Redknap and Portsmouth has expressed interest in signing aging defender Jeremy Spitzberg. Long thought retired, Spitzberg is reportedly in extremely poor shape, but willing to strap on the boots for one more chance at the Premier League. "I've always dreamed of getting crushed by the likes of Sammi Hyypia and Rio Ferdinand, and this may be my last chance," said Spitzberg from his San Diego training center.
Complicating matters is the fact that Spitzberg remains under a life-long indentured servitude contract with Alotta Soccer FC. Alotta soccer owner and manager Jon Wolfsthal is reluctant to part with Spitzberg for obvious reasons. "He was one of our greatest signings, and the thought of him actually finding a winning team may be too much for us to take. I mean, it's not like Alotta ever won, and how would that make us look.?" Wolfsthal also questions Spitzberg's ability to motivate for the rigors of the EPL. "He only used to come out for the chicks, but now that he's married with a kid, I hear his winkie is kept in a jar. With no women in the EPL, I doubt he'd actually show up for games, free uniforms or not."
Alotta is reportedly requesting 20 pounds, two free Pompey kits and insider information for his fantasy team in return for the rights to Spitzberg. It is unclear if Portsmouth even know what he is talking about.
Former Pompey winger Laurent Robert thinks Spitzberg and Portsmouth might be a good fit. "I hate zee people at Portsmouth and eef thees Spitzberg eez as bad as they say, zen zey deserve each other, no?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteBut this here blog now owns the rights to Jeremy Spitzberg, he came over on a Bosman...