"Dr. Crespo, I presume?"

Mourinho giving 'Dr' Crespo's sick notes short shrift

The forward was elbowed in the ribs after scoring the opening goal in Saturday’s Barclays Premiership 2-0 win at Fratton Park and immediately hobbled to the sidelines, with sympathy from the bench conspicuous by its absence. With only Carlton Cole to call upon, Mourinho instructed the 30-year-old to pull himself together and carry on, but, after limping around ineffectually for several minutes, he was eventually replaced by the England Under-21 striker. One team-mate observed that he had never seen a player limping after suffering a knock in the ribs.

For the fantasy manager, the article ends with this:
After training on his own for several weeks, [Robben] rejoined the first team yesterday and could be on the bench for Saturday’s game. Didier Drogba has recovered from a knee injury and should be fit to face Middlesbrough. Given Crespo’s histrionics, Drogba’s bulky frame is likely to be leading the line, whether or not the Argentinian has a sick note.

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