Robin Van Persie is not impressed

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It seems as if the ex-Arsenal, ex-Manchester United star isn't happy with his lot in life with Fernebache. Here he is, on the bench, "celebrating" one of teammate Fernandao's recent goals:



I don't know why it's gone wrong for him. Maybe he's just past it. Maybe all those injuries didn't save his body from wear and tear - the theory when he was healthy and scoring - and he can't compete physically anymore. Maybe he's just missing London. If that's the case, I have a wonderful idea! I know he'd probably just end up at Chelsea on a loan back to the Premier League. It's just the sad way things work. But they already have a Falcao-batross (™ © ® Jeremy Spitzberg) around their collective necks. The last thing they need is another reclamation project.

However, no such baggage weighs down the Eagles of Crystal Palace. Hear me out on this.

This January, Chelsea recalls Patrick Bamford from his loan spell at Palace. He's not getting any playing time there anyway so that is helping no one. Bamford, with youth on his side, and a chip on his shoulder, immediately becomes second choice at the Bridge behind the oft-suspended Diego Costa (27? You're having a laugh!) and we finally learn whether or not he's good enough for Chelsea.

Making that possible, is Robin Van Persie's loan to Palace. He is miles ahead of the other options like Gayle, Campbell, and Wickham. His movement (albeit slowed by time) allows Palace's other attacking players new, and more dangerous lanes to... attack. His finishing turns chances into goals. Humbled by his travails in Turkey, he's a team-player, deferring to Yohan Cabaye, and the other leaders already at the club.

There! It all adds up!

Sadly, porcupines are allergic to raisins.