Opinion, commentary, and humor on fantasy soccer (football). From people who should know... better.
Injuries and Suspensions: Week 3
There are a fair number of interesting line-up machinations related to injuries, suspensions, and transfers. For all of the fantasy implications for this weekend, here is everything you need to know:
The Week Ahead: Part 1
For all of the imperfections that have existed in the past and continue to exist in Major League Baseball, the governance of the game has embedded within it a clause that the commissioner can use to fill in when the rules as written just don't apply properly to the situation at hand.
There are two reasons I mention this in a column about the Premier League. First, baseball sensibly has an "out" clause that the Premier League clearly lacks to help facilitate the right thing being done. Second, baseball (and all American sports) rightly have appointed individuals (Commissioners) who are charged with overseeing their leagues, acting as figureheads/PR talking heads, and acting as the lightning rod for controversy when things go wrong. The controversy at St. James Park on the opening Saturday of the season underscored the lack of an individual in the driver's seat with sufficient latitude to ensure that the right thing happens.
If the Premier League had a single Commissioner who the public generally held accountable (and feared in any way for the ability to hold down what is generally a high-paying, high-profile job) then the end result of this past weekend's melee would have been entirely different. I could be talked into red cards for everyone involved (Song, Barton, and Gervinho). I could be talked into yellow cards for all involved. I could be talked into reds for Song and Barton and a yellow for Gervinho. What I and any public-facing Commissioner would never be talked into under the confines of American sports is letting a technicality like "we already awarded Barton a yellow card so we can't even review it and get it right" because that's the way our screwed up system works.
A Commissioner that is forced to meet regularly with reporters, go on sports talk radio, and watch his name crushed on social media would find a way to get it right, and fast. Apologies would be issued for the way things turned out. Slowly but surely, the tide of public opinion would force even the most traditional of traditionalists (you listening Mr. Selig) to do things like enlist video replay to get more things right.
Instead, the Premier League continues on with a Chairman, a Chief Executive, and a Board of Directors to oversee day-to-day operations. If ever there was a way to diffuse responsibility for things going wrong, this would be the way. A Google search for "Barton" and "Scudamore" (the Chief Executive of the Prem) yielded exactly 13 hits under the "news" tab. You have to try hard to find a search that yields only 13 hits. A similar search for "Artest" and "Stern" yielded 30x more hits associated with a particularly ugly incident in the National Basketball Association. Another similar search on "Selig" (MLB commissioner) and Dodgers (a financially troubled team where he had to step in) yielded even more than that.
My point is that with a diffused management structure at the league and even more ability to avoid responsibility by hiding behind the FA, UEFA, and FIFA there's almost no chance that the Premier League as currently constituted will ever be serious about making things better. It would be like expecting FIFA to not be corrupt or the NCAA to make decisions that are in the best interests of the fans or the players.
Sadly, unlike most of my rants, I don't really have a proposed solution here. The league has to WANT to change and make things better. The clubs have to decide that there's some risk to their financial health to not making the change. The way things are going with TV revenues, etc. that seems highly unlikely. We'll just have to suffer through poor decisions left un-reviewed, no video replays, and an absence of even modest improvements like referees using spray paint to keep walls from encroaching like they do in the US and Argentina.
Newcastle Fall-Out Follow Up

In the wake of Joey Barton's being transfer listed by Newcastle United and Wayne Routledge signing for Swansea, I've been running the rule over the squad trying to piece together how they'll play in the upcoming season. This may get repeated in our season preview, but so be it. This is really more of a first draft documentation of my thought-process.
So it might be messy.
Barton Available for Free after Twitter Outburst

Newcastle United have confirmed that Joey Barton has been made available on a free transfer.
Relations between the club and the outspoken midfielder had already been strained following a breakdown of contract talks over the summer, with Barton taking to Twitter to air his frustrations.
The 28-year-old did so again following Sunday's friendly defeat at Leeds, hinting at widespread dressing-room discontent towards the Newcastle hierarchy, before saying he would make an announcement on his future at 4pm on Monday.
But the club pre-empted whatever Barton was going to say by announcing he is able to leave St James' Park a year out from the end of his contract.
Some of the "offending" tweets included these:
If only we as players could tell the fans exactly how it is, without them above fining us lots of money. There will be a time and a place.less than a minute ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Joseph Barton
Joey7Barton
And again it would be left to those magnificent fans to pick up the remnants of their once great football club. #hadenoughofcertainpeopleless than a minute ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Joseph Barton
Joey7Barton
If I wanted to leave, I'd just come out and say "I want to leave" Things need addressing as am not prepared to go through a relegation againless than a minute ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Joseph Barton
Joey7Barton
And he's at it again today.
One day the board might realise, what the shirt signifies. HONOUR and PRIDE. Thanks for your continued support........... #toonarmyless than a minute ago via web
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Joseph Barton
Joey7Barton
So... where will he end up? Liverpool is the obvious answer as they're collecting every English midfielder they can get their hands on. [To that point, do you think they're regretting the &poind;24 they've spent on Henderson and Adam?]
But seriously, what club couldn't use his talents? But what club will take the chance on him after his washing out with Manchester City and now Newcastle United?
Who are we kidding. Barton on a free? ANY club would take a chance. It's not even a question of who has money to spend! This is going to get silly, quickly!
Nolan to West Ham
The Newcastle United captain Kevin Nolan is undergoing a medical at West Ham ahead of completing a move to the Championship club.
West Ham targeted Newcastle's top scorer from last season after he rejected a new contract at St James' Park. Newcastle dismissed an initial bid for the 28-year-old as "derisory", but accepted a subsequent offer.
Nolan, who has two years remaining on his Newcastle contract, will be reunited with the former Bolton manager Sam Allardyce at Upton Park if the deal goes through.
I'm not sure why Nolan wants this move. Obviously money is always an issue - perhaps always THE issue. And Nolan knows Big Sam. But does he really want to be the best player in the Championship again? Hasn't he been there, done that?
Barton escapes FA punishment

Football - Yahoo! Eurosport
Joey Barton will not face disciplinary action from the Football Association for apparently making an offensive gesture towards Liverpool's Fernando Torres.Apparently not. Feel good about fielding Barton at Birmingham.
Well, as good as you can about handling a lit firecraker.
Barton Faces Restrospective Ban
Skip to 3:46.
It's a good thing the games are coming thick and fast now as I'm assuming he'll have played Fulham before any action can be taken. But this punch deserves a ban. Then again, so did THud's lashing out against Bolton, and he got off. So we'll see.
And just when I was marvelling that Barton's run of early-season yellow cards hadn't amounted to anything further.
UPDATE: Barton charged by FA
An FA statement said: "Newcastle United FC midfielder Joey Barton has today been charged with violent conduct by the FA following an incident in his side's fixture with Blackburn Rovers FC on Wednesday 10 November.What should NUFC do? I would think they contest the charge if just to keep the momentum going with another unchanged starting XI. That would also give them another week to work in Danny Guthrie or Wayne Routledge into the team and work on how that would impact their approach. Guthrie would be the choice if they need someone to take set pieces, but he hasn't even made the bench in their last few matches. Routledge has at least been on the bench and was a substitute last night against Blackburn. He would give NUFC width, especially as Barton is supposedly playing on the right of midfield. But then NUFC would be looking for someone to take set pieces. It's been their only offensive threat, and missing Barton on kicks would be a big loss to them over the course of the next (or next plus one) three matches.
"Barton has until 6pm on Friday 12 November to reply to the charge and under the FA's fast-track regulations, may admit the charge and accept a standard three-match suspension."
If Barton decides to contest the charge, the hearing would be next week, meaning he would be free to feature in Newcastle's game against Fulham on Saturday.
Or can they solve both problems with... Ryan Taylor?!?!?!
RESOLUTION UPDATE: SORRY BARTON ACCEPTS THREE-MATCH BAN
Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton has admitted a charge of violent conduct and apologised to Morten Gamst Pedersen for the punch that will earn him a three-match ban...
Barton will miss Saturday's Barclays Premier League clash with Fulham and the following two games against Bolton and Chelsea.
Justification

... not for the mustache. There's no reasonable justification for that. Rather, I'm having a hard time justifying having Joey Barton in my team. Especially in a week when I've also fielding Scholes in the midfield. So I'm trying to remember Barton of a few years ago, taking kicks and generally being a fantasy stud for Manchester City circa 2005-07.
Also helping is Newcastle's upcoming run of fixtures:
- @Wolves - not an easy task, but not @Che either
- Blackpool - you're in on this one, right?
- @Everton - not an easy task, but Eve may not have sorted out their by now typical early season issues yet
- Stoke - not an easy game, but not the hardest either especially at home
- @Manchester City - A player scoring against his old team? Not unheard of.
- Wigan - you're in on this one, right?
- @West Ham - see Blackpool and Wigan above (just like West Ham see Blackpool and Wigan above them in the table! Thanks, I'll be here all week.)
- Sunderland - derby, but at least it's the home leg. And Sunderland remain a lousy road team.
Round-up

Nothing in the +10 range, but...
- Barton spared more jail - He'll still miss the early season, so nothing here.
- Pompey take Sahar on loan
- Wigan seal De Ridder deal - If this move is half as successful as Bruce's picking BRM's pocket for Palacios, it will be a good deal indeed. However De Ridder didn't show much at BRM when he was given the chances that Palacios never had.
- Huddlestone signs new deal - Good news for THud, who could have been a blog favorite had he gotten more regular playing time in midfield while continuing to be listed as a defender. Alas neither happened.
- Bischoff Set For Gunners - The new Flamini?
Barton jailed for six months

Happier times.
Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton has been jailed for six months after being convicted at Liverpool Crown Court of assault and affray.
The England international was arrested in Liverpool city centre in the early hours of December 27 after becoming involved in a confrontation outside a McDonald's restaurant.The 25-year-old admitted charges of affray and assault occasioning actual bodily harm after CCTV cameras caught him knocking an unidentified man to the ground.
He then straddled the man, and punched him four or five times as his cousin threw food at the victim before Barton punched him up to 15 times more.
Minutes later, the player attacked a 16-year-old, punching him and leaving him with broken teeth.
It followed a series of verbal confrontations inside the restaurant after a night out during which he had consumed 10 pints of lager and five bottles of lager.
The implications for Barton's career are as yet unclear, although he is certain to miss the start of the Magpies' new season.
Duscher Gets Magpies Chance
Wow. Duscher and Barton in the same midfield. Forget two referrees... these guys will need an on-pitch police escort!Newcastle manager Sam Allardyce is stepping up his summer rebuilding programme by handing Argentinian midfielder Aldo Duscher the chance to win a move to Tyneside.
The 28-year-old - out of contract with Deportivo La Coruna - has arrived at St James' Park for a trial as Allardyce considers another free transfer.
Duscher, who achieved notoriety for fracturing David Beckham's metatarsal ahead of the 2002 World Cup finals in a Champions League clash between Deportivo and Manchester United, has been dubbed "the butcher" by fans in Spain.
Parker Poised For Hammers Switch

West Ham appear to be on the verge of clinching the £7million signing of Newcastle and England midfielder Scott Parker after fighting off late interest from Tottenham.
...West Ham manager Alan Curbishley sees Parker as a potential captain and the ideal replacement for current skipper Nigel Reo-Coker, who has handed in a transfer request.
Parker, who is celebrating the birth of his third child this week, is keen on a return to London where his family is based and a move to Upton Park would see him link up again with Curbishley, his old boss at Charlton.
Newcastle's new manager Sam Allardyce is reported to be eyeing out-of-favour Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton as a potential replacement for Parker.
Quite the midfield carousel, isn't it? And as they say, "where she stops, nobody knows".
So, based on this, does ManCiteh build around NRC? And why were Spurs interested in Parker? Don't they have the center of the midfield covered with Jenas, THud, Zokora, Tainio, etc.? Or are Spurs now linked to any young(ish) English player, regardless of actual need or interest. I'm surprised he wasn't rumoured to be heading to Villa, to be honest. They have dollars to spend and have been linked with anyone and everyone else.