Robin Van Persie is not impressed

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It seems as if the ex-Arsenal, ex-Manchester United star isn't happy with his lot in life with Fernebache. Here he is, on the bench, "celebrating" one of teammate Fernandao's recent goals:



I don't know why it's gone wrong for him. Maybe he's just past it. Maybe all those injuries didn't save his body from wear and tear - the theory when he was healthy and scoring - and he can't compete physically anymore. Maybe he's just missing London. If that's the case, I have a wonderful idea! I know he'd probably just end up at Chelsea on a loan back to the Premier League. It's just the sad way things work. But they already have a Falcao-batross (™ © ® Jeremy Spitzberg) around their collective necks. The last thing they need is another reclamation project.

However, no such baggage weighs down the Eagles of Crystal Palace. Hear me out on this.

This January, Chelsea recalls Patrick Bamford from his loan spell at Palace. He's not getting any playing time there anyway so that is helping no one. Bamford, with youth on his side, and a chip on his shoulder, immediately becomes second choice at the Bridge behind the oft-suspended Diego Costa (27? You're having a laugh!) and we finally learn whether or not he's good enough for Chelsea.

Making that possible, is Robin Van Persie's loan to Palace. He is miles ahead of the other options like Gayle, Campbell, and Wickham. His movement (albeit slowed by time) allows Palace's other attacking players new, and more dangerous lanes to... attack. His finishing turns chances into goals. Humbled by his travails in Turkey, he's a team-player, deferring to Yohan Cabaye, and the other leaders already at the club.

There! It all adds up!

Sadly, porcupines are allergic to raisins.

Week 6 Barn Door Team

It's all change at the back for me as Kieran Gibbs seems to have lost his place to Andre Santos.  Who knows what is going on at Arsenal but the Brazilian did but up good points against Rovers, and gets Bolton at home this week.  Another flying (former) Arsenal fullback, Armand Traore, gets the nod too.  I was hoping to get him last week but didn't like the way he limped out of the Newcastle match previously.  My loss as he even got an assist.  Queens Park Rangers host Aston Villa, which isn't a great matchup, but I do like the option.

Another QPR new boy, Shaun Wright-Phillips, remains a bright spot in my otherwise run-of-the-mill lineup. He continued his good form in an advanced midfield role, and at 4 and change is becoming an indispensable player.

Maybe not as indispensable as David SIlva, however.  This was Silva's worst week to date, but he's still putting up points with the promise of continued returns.  Edin Dzeko and Sergio Aguero round out the Manchester City contingent.  Hosting Everton isn't an ideal matchup, but I dare anyone to start dropping these players.

That being said, I did move former Gunner Nasri out for current Gunner Mikel Arteta.  "Who knows what is going on at Arsenal" but Arteta scored a goal and was taking corner kicks.  His price jumped as a result and it was worth getting him in the team before that happened.

The final midfield spot is a bit of an enabler. Yohan Cabaye is becoming the almost man for Newcastle, striking the bar against Aston Villa on a lovely snap shot from range. However, I like that he's shooting and taking kicks. Newcastle also host Rovers on Sunday and that seems to pay off. I was origianlly looking at Gabriel Obertan as a true enabler, but picking Dedryck Boyata in defence allowed me to move off someone whom I'm taking to calling "The Invisible Man".  I just never see him on the pitch.  Sometimes I do see him, but I've yet to see him make an impactful play. Until then, I'll keep my distance.

Of course, all this movement is to afford Wayne Rooney.  I didn't keep him against Chelsea and I almost paid a very heavy price. He ended the day with a respectable 9.5 points, but missed a penalty, hit the post on another shot, and had Dimitar Berbatov skew what would have been a assist off target. Manchester United are at Stoke this week, and as we know that's a tough place to play. In fact I originally had Javier Hernandez in the team, but with his potential injury layoff combined with Rooney's irresistible form at the moment, I don't want to take the chance of missing out.

Who's on your barn door team this morning?

Season Preview - Newcastle United

Quick Reminder, Real Life

 A better than expected return to the Premier League for a team that was in all sorts of disarray when they went down two seasons ago. Incredibly a similar cast of odd characters that managed to get relegated amongst dysfunction and squandering of talent came back and not only stayed up but were good for 12th place despite losing their first choice keeper for a long stretch, their big off-season attacking acquisition for nearly the entire season, and selling their best forward in January. I don’t think even the most optimistic Geordie would have expected that finish if you’d told them that news ahead of the season.

Quick Reminder, Fantasy

 Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan had great return seasons in both the Premier League for real and as fantasy standouts. Their performances continued to be strong their prices came up but both were exceptional bargains for the first half of the season. Likewise, Andy Carroll was a revelation early in the season before getting hurt and then sold off to Liverpool for a ton of money in January. The lone real disappointment was Hatem Ben Arfa who got hurt early before we got much of a chance to find out if he might live up to the hype that surrounded his move to the Prem from Ligue 1.

Summer Changes

Newcastle Fall-Out Follow Up

In the wake of Joey Barton's being transfer listed by Newcastle United and Wayne Routledge signing for Swansea, I've been running the rule over the squad trying to piece together how they'll play in the upcoming season. This may get repeated in our season preview, but so be it. This is really more of a first draft documentation of my thought-process.

So it might be messy.

Analysis: Newcastle Signing Cabaye

BREAKING NEWS: Newcastle United sign Yohan Cabaye from Lille on five-year deal - Goal.com

From the sounds of it, NUFC are preparing a bit of a midfield overhaul with Barton and Nolan's statuses in question, Ben Arfa coming back into the side and Cabaye on the way.  I've only seen Cabaye play for Lille sparingly but my sense is that he's Michael Carrick with a little more bite in the tackle.  He seems unlikely to make a major fantasy impact even if he is likely to play slightly further up the field than Carrick does for United.  With Tiote playing backstop, Cabaye might get up the field a bit but he certainly doesn't seem like a fit for a Scholes-like role immediately behind the forwards (the role Nolan currently has when he's not actually being deployed as a forward). 

Analysis: Overall, he sounds like a solid signing for the Magpies but for fantasy purposes, I'd stay away unless he shows something unexpected early.

UPDATE: Cabaye seems to be known as a penalty kick specialist. Good to know. -J